Finding my way back through creation
My last YouTube video was about 8 months ago and during this time actually a lot of the things happened and that’s basically the reason why I didn’t post anything.
So it’s not like I abandoned my promise and my desire to do the YouTube video and doing more… but it was just, I think, too much for me to handle and some stuff eventually fell off during this last, like, seven, eight months.
After I posted my last video here, I think around August, the sequence of different events started.
We moved to a different house, I changed the job and it turned out I changed the job twice because first I took a position of the Head of Engineering in one company. And after a couple of months, the owner of the company decided to merge us into his another, much bigger company. If you’ve been through the acquisition, you know, it’s not a fun experience, and at the same time, we was not purchased, we just got merged, And that’s a different story. All the problems without benefits of acquisition.
My role shifted a lot.
It was not what I’m supposed to do in the first place.
In addition at the same time our kid started to go to kindergarten. Overall it’s really good, but in the beginning adds another complexity into this whole formula.
And, I was preparing for the German language exam because that’s one of the things that I need to do here in order to stay in the country.
I could say it’s a high level combination of things I had to deal with in a short period of time. There were actually more things, but it was more about additional count, not complexity.
If felt like a ball of the things that keeps growing. Like a snowball falling of a mountain. The fact I solved one thing did not help - two more were added straight into my TODO list.
Eventually, my energy tank got empty.
I had to prioritise the things that kept me on the surface. To delivery things that are necessary for my family and me.
As for YouTube specifically - I was thinking what to do with the channel anyway.
Because at first I wanted to share learning I got from the experience in the tech industry.
Since I was I’m working here for a long time - I started the first YouTube channel like two years ago and it didn’t went well. I think the main reason that’s nobody wants another youtuber telling people what to do.
Then, I tried to build and learn in public. I did couple of the things with the live coding, the explanation what I do and why I’m doing this. It led to people actually finding me and we established some connections.
I’ve been silent for such a long time. I’ve been trying to figure it out. But maybe the best way to figure out is to actually figure out it by doing… something. The worse case - I will stay the same.
For example. I’m still doing photography, but mostly for myself.
I struggled with the applications that are right now exist for the desktop editing. I miss a very specific features, but mainly the fact I cannot do everything from the keyboard.
Because of this I started my small pet project to build something like. At least for myself.
I will just try to do more videos about what is happening, what I’m trying to do, what I’m exploring.
I think that’s for most of the people around me are lost. Lost in general, lost in purpose.
I have no idea where I’m going.
I would like to figure out what to do.
In the end: I’m still here and I’m still thinking that the videos are worth making it even if no one will watch them.
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